A Year in
Quotes: Quotes of the Week from January
to December
(Quotes of the Month
are italicized)
“I dress to avoid nakedness and
you should all be pleased.”
-
Tom Tidwell (
“If you’re going to leave early,
leave at
-
Jerry Bewley (
on evading “The Man” in the ‘80s
“We asked
for a lot, and then we got kicked in the (blank) repeatedly.”
- Greg Wellman (
on negotiating
“I’m
going into ball mode.”
- Dave Schubert (
on navigating through his computer
“Do you
have any rudimentary first aid supplies?”
-
Greg Wellman (date unknown)
while tending to an injury in
“He has
cleverly maintained incompetence in the area of column inspection.”
-
Joe Parker (
on Bob Kline’s skill set
“I had to pick up the slack and
the slack slapped me around a little bit.”
-
Kevin Heindselman (
on indoor soccer and his team’s
string of injuries
“Growth? Wes ate paint chips as a kid. What does he know about growth?”
-
Terry Bledsoe (date unknown)
commenting on Wes Moyer after an EDS
“Know
what we are? We’re a big tease.”
-
Greg
Wellman
“Well, I
was thinking we’re Lucy and they’re Charlie Brown.”
-
Bob Kline (date unknown)
An excerpt from a conversation about Eastman backing out
of deals with a particular client.
“I’m
going to beat the QUAC out of you.”
-
Bob Kline (
trying to correct another engineer’s
improper acronym usage (UNIFAC v. UNIQUAC) with threats of violence
“I like
my thumb. How about
you?”
-
Wes Moyer (
while discussing the virtues of
estimation v. complex calculation
“Plus, she got to hang out with me
and, really, that’s priceless.”
-
Kevin Heindselman (
on the benefit his wife (then
girlfriend) received by bringing him lunch
“What’s a
Derby Pie? Is that what the horses leave
on the track?”
-
Mike Maness (
questioning the official dessert of the
Kentucky Derby
“That’s
like saying I’d rather eat poop than cake.”
-
Bob Kline (
on choosing to eat Japanese food
over Chinese food
“I work cheaply, as is reflected
in the quality of my work.”
-
Doug Christian (
“I hate
to dump my wife everyday the kids are out of town for something better to do.”
-
Anonymous (
on spending time with his wife
“Two
words: paint ball.”
-
Greg Wellman (
recommending ways to get even with neighbors
that have wronged you
“Apparently,
feeling the hate makes me funnier.”
- Greg Wellman (
offering a theory as to why he’s been on
the quote board so much recently
“As long as I am not dealing with
relationships, logic works pretty good.”
- Dave Schubert
“So, does that mean you have no
idea what April (Schubert, Dave’s wife) wants?”
- Bob Kline
“Only that she wants my body.”
- Dave Schubert (
Once again, Dave
shows he has much to learn.
“I paid
my wife to marry me, and I’m still paying for it everyday.”
-
Mike Maness (
on the “joys” of marriage
“I guess
that would make him ‘Little Willie.’”
- Wes Moyer (
after contemplating Dave’s namesake
(William David Schubert)
“If they
want to dress dogs up in dresses and take them out on a date, that’s fine with
me.”
- Bob Kline (
with commentary on personal
preferences outside the workplace
“That’s why I’m glad I’m married
to a woman.”
-
Wes Moyer (
“Fury is
my coffee this morning.”
-
Kevin Heindselman (
“I didn’t say anything mean. I just called him Cakeman.”
-
Jerry Bewley (
trying to downplay his new nickname for
Greg Wellman
“No, I’m
the Diet Cherry Coke of Evil, thank you very much.”
-
Greg Wellman (
modifying a quote from “Austin Powers” to
describe his level of evil
“Is
anyone else’s Internet slow today?”
-
Terry Bledsoe (
after overhearing people talk about not
being allowed to access the computer network
“[big project]’s going to go!
We’re going streaking!”
-
Greg Wellman (
expressing his joy due to the launch of a
large engineering project
“Finding
a good quote is like your dog eating a diamond.
You spend your time trying to find a gem amongst all the crap.”
-
Kevin Heindselman (
“Nothing
good comes out of
-
Dave Schubert (
joking about his wife (April Schubert),
and in the meantime, giving us a classic example of a sweeping generalization
“I’ve been trying to see Mike
(Maness) in a loin cloth for seven years.”
- Jennifer
Mize (
talking about why she selected Mike’s
role for a Murder Mystery dinner party
“Birthday
germs are good luck.”
-
Kevin Heindselman (
commenting on the passing of germs along
with the passing of birthday cake
“If you put a hat on her, she’d
look like the Stay Puft
-
Casey Henry (
commenting to
“Wes’s
machine is the syphilis of the
-
Bob Kline (
commenting on the frequency of model
corruption on Wes Moyer’s computer
“Go get
filled with the Spirit and then get filled with spirits.”
-
Mike Maness (
talking about the idea of going out
drinking after going to Bible study
“When I
eat veal, I want that cow to have not moved its entire life.”
-
Bob Kline (
“Yeah, I
need to sound like I look good.”
-
Mike Maness (
after being asked if he was dressed up
for a phone interview
“It’s like I’m in a giant bubble
of hatred and apathy and nothing can penetrate it, expect for one thing: cake.”
-
Bob Kline (
"To coincide with FPD, it will be Hawaiian Shirt Day. If you don't have a Hawaiian shirt, feel free
to wear a fish shirt or something random."
- Dave Schubert
"Dave, you are just one or two well-placed words away from making
FPD a clothing-optional event."
- Joe Parker (