The Official Story of Good Products Day

Good Products Day began in rumors in the dark places of the
7th floor, in murmurs of dissent among the people, and in the lack
of enthusiasm for fish expressed by today’s youth.  One day, the great great
granddaddy of Good Products Day, Bob Kline, asked himself, “What if there
was such a thing as Fish Products Day, without the fish?!?!?”  And thus, like Athena bursting from the
head of Zeus, the revolution was born.
In order to pay homage to Fish Products Day, it was decided to name the
event Good Products Day.  Envisioned
as a time when people could gather together to share with one another all that
is good and right with the world, Good Products Day was a shining beacon of
hope for those who object to the malodorous nature of Fish Products Day but
enjoy the camaraderie, the sharing of food, and the lack of productivity that
are the beating heart of the celebration.

Word of Good Products Day spread like a California wild fire
thanks to self-proclaimed Minister of Propaganda, Bob Kline.  Due to his tireless efforts, there were
representatives from many different groups, including Plant Protection and HQ,
at the first ever GPD.  Another
important contributor to the success of Good Products Day was Lauren Gibson,
the official bouncer.  She was
tasked with making sure no errant fish entered the hallowed confines of
conference room 7000 and performed her duties flawlessly.  The final “official” member
of the GPD team was Stacy Fields, who was appointed Empress by Bob Kline.  Bob’s strength lies mostly in
ideation and less in execution, so he turned the reins over to Stacy and her
phenomenal organizational prowess.  Her
unwavering leadership in not only coordinating the event but also setting
public policy was inestimable.
Together, this team of mavericks made GPD the enormous sensation that it
was.

What GPD lacked in crustaceans, it more than made up for in culinary
scrumptiousness.  Many current 7th
floorers and 7th floor alumni contributed delicious breakfast foods
and desserts to the festivities.
Among the offerings were chocolate chip cookies, strawberry muffins, pigs
in a blanket, breakfast casserole, sausage rolls, and a tasty (if slightly
brown) fruit salad.  The only fish
that made it past the rigorous screening at the door were of the Swedish
variety and were part of the trail mix that Lisa Tencer made.  Decorations were provided by Lauren
Gibson and Stacy Fields and consisted mainly of vast numbers of Christmas
lights, a snazzy red table cloth, and other Christmas related paraphernalia.  Also adorning the walls were several
humorous posters made by GPD promoters which sported slogans such as “All
of the fun, none of the fish” and “All of the food, none of the
stench”.  There was even a
Battle Star Galactica themed poster to attract the SciFi Channel-watching contingent (because, as everyone
knows, “there are no fish in space”).

The first ever Good Products Day was well attended and well
received by all.  People floated
between GPD in the front conference room and FPD in the back.  The two events co-existed peacefully and
even the FPD veterans appreciated the upstarts’ fresh take on holiday
celebration.  As FPD High Council
member Jeff Smith said, “Fish Products Day has always been about an
alternative happening, doing your own thing, being empowered, being
countercultural”.  All in all,
there were no excuses not to participate in GPD and the event was a total
success, which is likely to continue for many years to come.